A Yankee In A Confederate Queen's Court

I am writing this live from Tallahassee, Florida and I do NOT, repeat, DO NOT have to work tomorrow. YAY!!! I am visiting my girlfriend Megan and her family. Sometime we are going to open presents, but that depends when her present gets to her house. I ordered it delivered there and it's been a week or so and it should be here by now. I am having a total blast visiting Meg, her mom Daisy, her kickass son Javid, Meg's stepfather David, her brother Jerod, and Jerod's two daughters Alexsis and Ashlynn. Not to mention the legions of people that walk through that front door. I feel truly blessed to have been a part of not only two families(mom's and dad's), but now Meg's.

At this moment, I do not have any great observances to write about. Meg mentioned that I should write a blog and I figured, 'what the hell I have nothing else to do'.

While it sucks that I will eventually have to leave( and endure Meg's sadness). I know it's better that we're together and far away...than far apart. I love her like I've loved no other person in my life when it comes to romance. This doesn't come close to any of the past relationships. She's just one of those people that 'get' me. She understands why I get so frustrated and angry at myself and other people. She laughs at the same rediculous stuff I do and she understands what it's like to be on hard times. Most of all, her unstoppable mouth...er...(sorry, she's sitting right beside me) her unending will to tell the truth is what keeps me going. I am a sensitive person and therefore, worry about hurting other people's feelings. She understands that the truth always serves a better purpose in the long run even if it hurts the other person for the short term. Always, her undying strength and inner beauty(trust me she has plenty outer) are what I am most in awe of. The woman has endured spina bifida and scoliosis her entire life and I have yet to see someone as strong as her, save a few people. Her spirit and indomitable will is totally immortal in its strength. For her, I thank God every day that she is part of my life. He works in mysterious ways and I thank him for the blessing that came through a computer screen.

See...
We met online in MSN Groups in what is called an E-fed. An E-fed is where people who like to write(like myself) make up their own wrestlers, storylines, and compete with other writers for various titles and other awards. The competition isn't what I do it for, it's the sole enjoyment of writing...you get the idea. We were in the same fed and I added her to my contact list on MSN Messenger(an instant message service for those who aren't familiar) and we hit it off instantly. We talked online for around four years(two of which were also on the phone). For that duration we were really good friends and I had a HUGE crush on her...HUGE, GINORMOUS. I never told her as my self-esteemed prevented me from thinking I had a chance at this woman whom I called a 'goddess' to one of my online friends. Well, come October 23, 2007...she became mine. Totally nervous was I when I told her my feelings and she to me, but other than that...the earth didn't shake, no explosions didn't happen, and my life didn't suddenly improve drastically other than that she was in my life. I didn't win the lottery, I didn't get a book deal, I didn't get any dream job, in fact I've had some pretty dark days since she's come into my life, but I've endured them all with hers and the Father's support. Truly, I am blessed and God truly gave me my dream girl. I still feel that I don't deserve her because of my many shortcomings, but I have come to terms with it. I think God has been trying to teach me the meaning of grace in this way. Thank you, Father. Amen.

'Nuff Said.

Josh

Josh Ryan's State of the Union Address

Okay, it's been exactly two months since I last blogged and I figured I should get back on the stick and do it again. I promise that the next time it won't be two months. Otherwise, let's get on with the exorcising of the demons, shall we? I have some things to get off my chest.

Don't worry, I'll be nice....


Alright, the election. Everybody's talking about the election. Barack Obama will be the 44th President of these United States. Humongous, right? First black, I mean, multi-racial(don't forget he's half-white) President we've had. BIG DEAL!!! Right?

Wrong.

What matters is if he actually helps this country or not. If he doesn't live up to all his hype and all he's promising, then all this attention about him being the first black(multi-racial!!) president won't amount to a hill of beans. If he's our worst president since(in my opinion it's Bush, crucify me if you want to) then all this hype, won't matter.

Personally, I like the man. I really do. So, what if he's not Republican? So what if he's a Democrat? Does party affiliation really matter? Does it make one morally better if they're blue or red? I'm a registered Republican, but I really don't care if the candidate is Republican or...that other party(haha). What matters is if the person is a Christian who will keep his/her promises and will do what is right for those in the United States.

Then there are those people who are claiming that the end of the world is nigh and civilized society as a whole is on its deathbed because Obama won the presidency. This, I really don't appreciate.I mean, I have people calling him the Anti-Christ and making the CHANGE jokes.( don't ask...please. I won't repeat it here or anywhere). This is totally unfair. I have people that I trust and that I look up to telling these kinds of jokes and they're saying 'n' words as if they were talking about what to have for dinner. You don't have to like the man, but please, don't use that as an excuse to make all the racist quips.

If you haven't figured it out by now, I voted for Obama. I have told scant few people this and they're people I know who won't ridicule me. Knowing this, if McCain had have won, I wouldn't have thrown a tantrum. I was hard pressed to find a clear cut favorite. I liked them both(and not just because of Sarah Palin). I just went Obama because he had more policies I agree with. There are others I don't like(like his position on labor unions), but for the most part...I agree with him. In fact, I went Democrat for most of the positions in this election*insert gasp here* I did this not because I hate Republicans. I did it because the Dems just take more of the positions I agree with. I like to think myself as an Independent seeing as I couldn't care less if the two-party system was abolished. It's biased, as I see it. Even the great George Washington said that this country should not be involved in the spirit of party politics. As Zack De La Rocha, lead singer of one of my favorite bands Rage Against The Machine said once while performing during the 2000 Democratic Convention in Los Angeles

"These streets belong neither to the Democrats OR the Republicans."

Right on, Zack, these streets(and dirt roads where I'm from), belong to the people....not some red-blue, us vs. them mentality. Every four years this country gets as close to another Civil War as it can get and I am personally sickened and saddened by it. Judging one person's character if they wave the blue or red banner....it's sickening and saddening. We're still healing from the last Civil War...we don't need another one.

I want to get one thing straight, though. I love America. I love this country and no, I'm not a redneck, flag-waving fascist. I love my country and I love my home. I wouldn't trade being an American for anything else. This is the country that allowed me to think for myself and to speak out against it. Because I oppose the Iraq war and other policies does not make me more or less of a patriot. I love our troops who are truly keeping us safe.

I am an American, I do not and will not apologize for it....ever.

In the end, we'll see what God has for us. Antichrist or not(the Antichrist is supposed to come from the middle east, right? His mom is white and from Kansas and his dad was born and raised in Kenya. That was in Africa last time I checked), God has his hands well involved in the situation.

Joshua 1:9 sates "Be afraid neither dismayed for the Lord thy God is with thee
wherever thou goest."

Fear not, fellow believers. The Lord has never let us down and he never will. If Obama truly is what some people say he is...rejoice...we're going home.

Moving on...

My beloved North Daviess Cougars lost the Sectional final to Linton 18-16. What a heartbreaker. I was right there with our boys and, being a former football player, I understood their heartbreak. Ten years ago, I was exactly in that same situation against Linton. I cannot stand Linton and their fans' behavior Friday night did not do anything to help my opinion. Yet, we are all human and it touched me deeply when Cougars and Miners met in the middle of the field to pray for Linton's fallen assistant coach who had a heart attack along with another man in the parking lot who passed away. My condolences go out to his family. I was also notified that a family friend Kenny Joe Berry had a heart attack during a Kokomo football game. From what I hear he is doing fine. Thank God for that. Truly God has a way of making us wake up and see the more important things in life.

On the lighter side of things, I got to see one of my all time favorite bands AC/DC on Monday Nov. 3 with my best friend Chris Stoll. Lemme tell ya, I have never been to a better show and I have seen acts such as the Rolling Stones and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Angus, Brian, Malcolm, Cliff, and Phil are older than my father and they were all going full speed for two and a half hours straight with no intermissions. I loved the show and felt a little heartache when it ended. Just like Chris said after the concert was done, 'Aw man! It's over?' It reminded me of a heartbroken second grader who has to leave recess for the classroom. Nonetheless, I'm glad I saw them and I turly enjoyed the time I spent with my best buddy Stoll. I got to visit with his wife and his daughter Kalli and they are such a totally beautiful family, I could do nothing but smile. Katie is a great mother and Chris is an awesome father. To quote Chris's dad, Norm Kalli truly is the 'cutest little dude' I ever saw.

Last but not least I got to visit with my uncle Tom and aunt Kim Coors along with my cousins Megan and Kristin in Fishers(near Indy). I got to go eat Mongolian and DQ Saturday night and just generally enjoyed a great time visiting with them. I always love going up there and visiting and it reassures me how much of a wonderful family I have. Truly, God is good.

God bless y'all thanks for hearing me rant and I want you to all know it was done in a spirit of love. Until next time...

'Nuff Said.

Josh

Surviving that long and winding road

Yeah, I joined this thing three or four weeks ago and am just now starting my first blog. I've made it my honest point to not be pessimistic or cynical like I always am, but to be positive. I will be honest with myself, though. You have been warned.

To be even more honest, I have been blessed with the best parents God could ever dream up. Yeah, I complain that my dad can be a perfectionist about things and yes, many of you have heard me complain about my mom's(how can I say this nicely?) inquistiveness.(That's good, Josh, nice save. Read on, I'm sure to stick my foot in mouth, somehow. Another reason for you to subscribe.) We have had our many fights and exiles from each other, but we have always come back loving each other more than we had before. All in all, at least they do what they do because they love me.

For those of you who don't know, I work at Wabash Valley Correctional Facility in Carlisle, IN. I am a Teacher's Assistant in the GED program. While, the general population is adults, they do have Youth Incarcerated as Adults(YIA, for short). These youth are mostly from the inner city ranging from 16-17 and maybe 15 until they turn 18 and go to the general population. They have lived lives that even most adults would cringe at. Not to say that these kids are mature, they're far from it....but that's a whole 'nother story. Anyway, these kids find it odd that I have not done any drugs, abstain from alcohol, and refuse tobacco. They find it laughable that I haven't had to fight(physcially, at least) in my life. Most of these kids have babies that they have fathered and consider themselves 'grown-ass' men. What I find it most suprising is that all my ideals are foreign to them. Don't get me wrong, underneath all that brash swagger they're just kids. Good kids, to point out. They just feel pushed into a corner and the only way, they feel, to get out is by any means possible.

Nonetheless, I want to point out something to the youth of today. Be yourself. Being different is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, be proud of it. You're a Christian and people make fun of you because you don't want to go out and party? Rejoice. You're doing your job well when this happens. If you weren't, they'd love you as their own.

Remember John 15;18-19 “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first.
The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no
longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world,
so it hates
you. "

Love these people as you would love yourself. Love all people, you
could miss out on great friendships and even greater opportunities to display what God's love is truly about....unconditional.

If you're a lot like me....cynical, depressed(I've been accused of being Emo), and having lots of feeling of life's futility...you're not alone. I've made it a point in my life not to judge people by simple appearances. Now, I do make mistakes and I do get on my high horse every now and then, but most of the time I like to think that I take the time to try to empathize with people. Do not let this world cave in on you. The biggest problem I had/have was/is to think about all my problems and lump them together to form one gigantic demon I could not hope to defeat. Never let anyone tell you that the best days of your life are behind you or that the best is yet to come....the best is always yet to come and the best days of your life are always ahead of you. The darkness in the roads of your life never last for long and there are always people to carry that torch to light the way when you're too weak to carry it. Remember...there is always hope. The great John Lennon said it himself:

"While there's life...there's hope."

In closing, I would like to summarize my ultimate point in a few words. It's okay to be different. It's okay to be a little bit nutty because the greatest minds and the greatest impacts on this world were once judged to be ulitmately weird or freaky. So, the next time some looks at you like a freak...or even calls you one...say this to them: "You say freak like it's a bad thing." It's okay to be different. Variety is the spice of life.... Dios te benidga(God bless you).

'Nuff Said....

Josh